do you have a hard time saying “no”?
Saying “no” sounds simple enough. Two letters, one syllable, universally understood. And yet, many of us have a PhD in overpromising and overcommitting.
We say yes because we want to be helpful, liked, validated, or simply not be that person who rocks the boat. The result? We end up overwhelmed, exhausted, and resentful—and ironically, less available for the things and people that truly matter.
Many of us grew up absorbing the idea that being a ‘good’ friend, partner, employee, or human meant being helpful, flexible, and accommodating. So when we even think about saying no, guilt kicks in. Guilt tells us we’re letting someone down. Guilt tells us we should be doing more and giving more. But guilt rarely asks the more important question: At what cost?
The holidays are also peak season for overcommitting. There are more invitations, more commitments, more group texts, more family gatherings. Suddenly, everything feels like it demands your full effort, immediate attention, and absolute best. The truth? Not everything needs your A-plus effort (even during the holidays). Sometimes “good enough” is not only enough, it’s healthier, more sustainable, and more productive in the long run.
Before you commit, ask yourself:
Do I have the capacity for this?
Do I want to do this?
Who or what will benefit most if I say yes?
Consider this your reminder (in case you need to hear it): saying no and setting boundaries is not selfish, and it can actually be a beautiful thing. When you protect your time and energy, you’re not withdrawing from others—you’re simply making sure you can show up fully for the things (and people) that deserve you at your best.
And that’s a gift worth giving yourself every year!
To saying yes to what matters most,
— Casey
