The Comparison Goblins Are Back… Boo!
They sneak in quietly, whispering that you’re behind. Behind your peers. Behind where you thought you’d be. Behind some invisible timeline that seems to be racing ahead without you.
The comparison goblins: that little voice in your head that makes you question whether you’re measuring up. A universal (and yet quietly painful) experience where comparing ourselves against others can rob us of our own joy and contentment.
But comparison isn’t all doom and gloom, it actually serves an important purpose. It helps us measure our abilities, set benchmarks, and improve. A process psychologists call social comparison theory, rooted in our evolutionary need to understand our place in the group for survival.
The problem is, in today’s world, the goblins never rest. We’re constantly bombarded with highlight reels of everyone else’s accomplishments. The result? A lingering sense that we’re off-track — or worse, failing entirely.
Beware: most of these monsters are imaginary.
Feeling behind is a feeling, not a fact. There is no universal timeline. No life curriculum. Just some made-up mile markers that rarely capture the full complexity and uniqueness of our experiences.
Instead of asking, “Am I behind?” consider asking:
Behind what exactly?
Whose timeline am I measuring myself against?
What do I actually want?
And if that last one feels hard to answer, try this exercise:
Imagine yourself at your 90th birthday. What do you want to be remembered for? What moments were most meaningful to you? What will you look back on and think, “Yes! That was worth it.”
Other people’s achievements might look shiny and impressive, but their motivations and intentions might be entirely different. The more you focus on what actually matters to you, the less you’ll feel pulled into someone else’s orbit.
To a Halloween free of goblins and full of treats,
Casey
